I recently attended an interesting talk about stress management and coping mechanisms. The orator, a doctor in psychology, was animated and up beat. His style wasn't what you'd typically expect from someone who was from that type of "academic circles". He entered the room and his first words weren't hello or how are you? He simply looked at us and said:
"Fuck off."
We all laughed. He went on to explain that everything else that came out of his mouth for the rest of his lecture wouldn't be that hard to swallow or listen to. The use of an unexpected vulgar phrase immediately set a tone which everyone could relate to: He was just another person in the room who had a grounded sense of humor.
I couldn't help but smile as I listened to him as much of what he said resonated with a number of personal beliefs that I have. It's not a secret that I am hyper positive in everything I do. Its like an addiction really. Hard work leads to success. Dreams are made to tackle. Friends keep you healthy. Love makes you drive on. But on the journey to your goals, you'll encounter a ton of road blocks. Those may be negative people who live off the poison of cynicism, hate, prejudice or anger.
But situations can also lead to stress, be it financial, personal, or a combo of factors. These all lead to emotional cracks that become bigger over time. How do we identify them? Let's take a look.
Am I a "used to" person?
When someone asks you what your hobbies are, how do you answer? If you find yourself saying "I used to hike. I used to play music. I used to do jiu jitsu" then you've fallen into the stress tornado. The past tense of the word "used to" indicate that the emotional toll of whatever is bothering you has taken over what kept you healthy originally.
Over time, as the stress builds up, you language about the people around you changes also. It starts like this:
There is me, my partner, my friends, and then the assholes.
Then as time and stress builds, your view changes more:
There is me, my partner, and then the assholes.
And then finally:
There is me and then there are the assholes.
Stress breaks down your relationships and cynicism creeps in more. Did you know that there is a test they can do to test your hormonal stress levels? They do this by taking a swab of your saliva.
There are ways to keep the stress down however.
Sleep Hygiene:
The biggest culprit in stress elevation is lack of sleep. I could write a 1000 pages on the subject but its already been done. A couple of tips I've learned with shift work and productivity.
-Electronic devices before bed are a no no. They give off a signal that the brain interrupts as "I guess we aren't going to sleep because its day time". Grab a book if you need that stimulation before bed.
-Eating: while a heavy meal may make you feel sleepy, its one of the worst things to do before bed time. It shunts the bodies function to digestion thus taking away from what it should be doing: repairing and resting the body.
-Hydrate before bed. Make sure those cells get enough H2O. It will help with body function and not feeling hung over or head achy when your rise.
-Melatonin: an excellent way to reset and keep the body in deeper REM if you have a messed up sleep schedule.
-If you have things on your mind, write them down on a pad of paper beside your bed so you can 'let them go', and tackle them the next day. Many people lie in bed, wide awake in the dark, playing over situations or thoughts in their head from the day. They think that if they don't think them out, they'll never get solved. They problem is, you aren't really in a good place to do that when your tired. Write it down, let it go and take it up when rested.
Breath. No really. BREATH
We hold our breath. I see it all the time. I see it in jiu jitsu or when people are doing target practice or when they talk with people, or when they are nervous. Taking small breaks (2 mins), to just sit, close your eyes, and breath will help center yourself in the chaos that may be your day.
Hobbies = Healthy:
It has been proven that doing certain hobbies will reduce stress levels. You don't want to tackle super stressful hobbies when you are already stressed however as this will only jack up your already elevated hormones. Yoga, martial arts, playing an instrument, casual board games, light hearted movies, dinner with your loved one, good wholesome conversations with friends...these all lead to lowered the stress levels that build in the body.
For me, training Jiu Jitsu is a massive stress release. So is listening to jazz or ambient music in front of the fire place and thinking about good memories from my past or dinner with my number one. You need to find yours.
Your mind will answer most of your questions if your learn to relax and wait for the answer.
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