The Coach of an Academy doesn't have to answer to anyone because they built the house. Its the perk of owning your own place.
Gyms (studios, academies, dojos) are and extension of that family dynamic. Sometimes its dysfunctional but mostly its run by caring and passionate people who want to make the world a better place. Sometimes the kids never leave home. Sometimes they venture off to see the world. Sometimes they start their own families. And sometimes, they make bad decisions. Sometimes they are disloyal, inappropriate, violent or immature. You see, the Jiu Jitsu academy is no different.
In my 30 years of doing the martial arts, I've been apart of a few families. I've grown up in several homes. But for me, I have always been loyal to my coaches. Once I start with someone, I stick with it. In the 11 years of teaching, I've seen my fair share of child (student) drama from schools. I've been lucky not to have a lot at mine because I make it pretty clear what type of house I run. But you can't have perfect kids all the time.
So, let's talk about the different types of kids in the Jiu Jitsu home!
The Home Body Kid
This student is one that will be with you forever. They have no desire to leave the city or train elsewhere. They have found their 'home' and family. They are happy, loyal and form the backbone of your academy. They do things around the gym not because they have to but because they want to. They are persistent or leaders within the academy. They have (or will) train for a life time. There is no goal or end-only constant refinement. As a parent (Instructor), you smile every time you see them and are thankful for their involvement. They are the fame that hold up the rest of the house.
Off to college Kid!
There are the students that love what you offer and they LOVE the academy but life, relationships or career nudge them in another direction. They leave your academy or city to venture out and experience new things. They may return months or years down the road but whatever is pulling them away is important. They are loyal people who love your academy. They love the coaches. But they are in a searching phase and they will most likely train at other gyms or uproot to another city. They will always speak highly of their "first gym" and will always be welcomed back.
Starting a Family Kid
There are those kids that leave the academy because they are seeking new career paths but they just don't want to just do jiu jitsu, they want to TEACH. With the blessing of their coach, they venture off to a new city and start anew. They build their own clientele and start their own journey. These kids are totally loyal to their original gym and will call themselves 'affiliates' of their home school or instructor. They will support the home school and keep in contact. They will always be family. They will bring their coach out for seminars and introduce him/her to the new set of students. Its one way to expand and spread your love.
The Excuses Kid
This student has excuses for everything. They show up seldom and progress at a very slow rate. They don't understand that there is a direct correlation between getting better and mat time. They seem to think things should be easy but fail to live by "what you put in is what you get out." Every house has these students and if they realized the wonderful opportunity that lay in front of them, they'd shelve the excuses and come more.
The Troublemaker Kid
These kids have had all the support as their fellow brothers and sisters but for some reason, keep making bad decisions. The seem to be drinking too much. Partying too much. Or getting mixed up with the wrong people outside of the academy. The trouble they get in is nothing major but enough to start affecting their training and how often they show up to class. The coach tires to talk with them and offer guidance but the kids just seems to fall into the same pattern. Eventually, this kid quits jiu jitsu because the outside forces pull them away from the mats.
The Bully Kid
This kid fails to see the message of jiu jitsu and can't shake the inner demon of bullying. They get a thrill out of dominating others but get absolutely crushed by the alpha dogs in the school. They get angry when they get tapped out and aren't smart enough to figure out what the process is about. Coaches spend time trying to change the pattern of the bully but understand that change starts with the student and their willingness on being humbled. The bully either quits pretty shortly after starting or gets kicked out of the house/academy for not being a team player or caring for the rest of family.
The Know it all Kid (Creonte)
The know it all is the kid who constantly tries to manipulate the household. They are young and mixed up and think they know everything at the tender age of white belt/blue. They haven't spent any time in the art but seem to think they know more than their coaches. They set unrealistic goals and set demands on those who are running the house hold. They either get kicked out of the house or leave only to realize they made a huge mistake but won't be able to return to their original home. They drift from school to school, home to home, looking for something they aren't even sure what it is. They continue on a pattern of disloyalty and will change from school to school, year after year because of the self centered attitude they possess.
As the old saying goes, if you look around the room and don't see the asshole, its probably you.
The Rebel Kid
The rebel is the kid that trains with you for a while and seemingly looks like a home body kid. You put a ton of effort into them. You help them. You coach them. You offer them advice. You pay for tournaments. You give them swag. You simply place a lot energy into them because you see their potential. But the rebel has plans...big plans. They want more. They want the world and they are going to break out and start their own family. With the knowledge and love you put into them, they have returned it by simply ignoring they ever trained with you. You raising them is simply excised from their minds and lineage and they seek a new parent and banner under them. Unlike the starting a family kid, the rebel shows their true colors by not having the honor to respect their roots.
So, not every kid will agree with the rules you set out in your home. Some will leave for their own purposes. Most will stay and you'll build a strong family because of it. You WILL have kids that get lost. You WILL have kids that will become dishonest and disloyal but your focus should always be on the kids that want to be there and want to help keep the jiu jitsu family unit at your school strong.
If you want to get a really GOOD sense of a Jiu Jitsu home, the coach of the academy will NOT be shy on complementing their own coach and telling you who they have learned from.
All I know is like attracts like and you reap what you sow. Support your home and for goodness sakes, be a good kid!
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